Bringing Dorothy Home - a Postpartum Story
So often, we place SUCH emphasis on the birth of our babies that we forget how monumental those first days and weeks postpartum can be. I still remember how overwhelmed I felt when we brought our oldest daughter, Lucy, home. I had spent SO much time preparing for her birth that I’d neglected to plan for the days that followed.
With each of my births, I feel like I’ve learned a little bit more about what I need during those first precious days. And as a birth photographer, I’ve also seen how different every woman’s postpartum journey looks. I wanted to share my postpartum story along with my birth story in hopes that some part of it might resonate with other expecting families. So here it is…in all of it’s messy beauty.
One of the many reasons that I choose the Denver Center for Birth is the flexibility it extends to its families. At most birth centers across the country, families are asked to go home 4-6 hours after delivery. At the Denver Center for Birth, women have the option to rest, to recover, to stay longer. I loved having that flexibility going into my birth. I liked the idea of having a space to rest (apart from any of the demands of home) if I needed it.
But Dorothy Rose came quickly and easily. I couldn’t have asked for a smoother birth. And so I found myself ready to leave just 4 hours after delivery. My older girls were at school, which meant Ryan, baby, and I could snuggle into our own bed well before their school day ended. So around 10am, we drove away from the birth center…and we stopped at our favorite coffee shop - Corvus - to pick up warm oatmilk lattes on our way home.
One of the things I loved about this birth was how strong I felt immediately after delivering. I didn’t push for long and my pelvis felt amazingly stable for just having delivered an 8 lb baby. I easily walked into our house and upstairs to our bedroom, where I immediately got into bed with Dorothy and my coffee (of course).
My dear friend and colleague, Jennifer Mason, was already at our house waiting for us. She had flown in from Michigan that morning, and I was so excited to see her and share my birth story. We all sat together, sipping on our drinks, and eating food as I shared my immediate recollections of Dorothy’s arrival.
Talking about my birth with trusted listeners has always been one of the key components of my postpartum journey. I loved being able to sit and share with Ryan, Jennifer, and Lindsey. And of course in the days and weeks that followed, I processed through writing my story out as well.
After an hour of resting and talking in bed, I wanted to get up and take a bath. As many of you will recall, the water I gave birth in was full of both blood and meconium, so a warm bath for both me and baby sounded amazing.
I had a slew of healing herbs to soak, Jennifer and Lindsey had purchased some beautiful flowers, and my bathtub was just waiting for us. It felt so good to soak in the warm water with Dorothy and to honor the beauty of this very special day.
Warm baths, healing herbs, and simple things of beauty help me feel balanced and loved during my postpartum season. I can’t tell you how much a hot bath or shower helps when your body and emotions are adjusting to your new normal.
Our older girls came home a couple of hours later, and then the fun really began. I think one of the hardest parts about welcoming a new baby to a home with older children is balance. It can be so tempting to try and do it all - you want to parent your older children with as much energy and attention as before. But it’s SO important to give yourself full permission to just focus on you and baby immediately after birth. I’m so thankful that both Ryan, my mother-in-law, and my parents were able to step in and help us care for Lucy and Eliza. As much as I wanted to jump right back into mama-mode, I knew that my body and my littlest baby needed rest. Some of my hardest moments have come when I can see that my older two are acting out…and I don’t know how to fix it, but I’m trusting that we’re all working through BIG emotions right now, and we’ll make it to the other side.
Getting help for our older kiddos immediately postpartum and in the weeks that followed was crucial. We’ve employed family, friends, and our sweet nanny over the last 4 weeks…and it’s been amazing to have the time and space to rest and bond with our newest baby.
And then of course one of my favorite things to do for myself in the days and weeks postpartum is NOURISH my body with healing food. We’ve been eating so well over the last several weeks. So many friends and family have brought us meals (THANK YOU!) and then we also found the Postpartum Kitchen - an amazing meal service for new moms based here in Denver. They’ve been bringing us the most DELICIOUS and NOURISHING soups over the last month, and I can’t tell you what a difference it’s made for me. Organic meat and vegetables, bone broths, and healing spices go into each of their soups, and you can FEEL the difference as soon as you start eating them.
Investing in healing food is worth it! We were so blessed with friends and family who contributed to our meal train, and we’re so happy we found the Postpartum Kitchen. I recommend finding and relying on both (if possible).
I’ve also indulged in quite a few oatmilk lattes… as well as special dates to our favorite restaurants in Denver. Ryan and I are foodies through and through, and as soon as I felt up to it, we went to some of our favorite restaurants to celebrate this new season. Dorothy slept happily against my chest in the Solly Wrap, while Ryan and I talked and shared over delicious meals at Safta and Uchi. Dates with a new baby are actually pretty awesome (as long as you feel up to it).
Because YES, you deserve to treat yourself during this season…you deserve to do the things you love…whenever you feel ready to do them. So If you feel like getting out and enjoying your favorite restaurant — do it. If you feel like staying home and watching Netflix all day — do it. Every mama’s timeline is unique.
The truth is we’ve had some beautiful days over the last few weeks…and we’ve also had some really hard ones.
I’ve cried and laughed (often in the same hour)
Eliza caught the flu when Dorothy was just 14 days old…and I felt like the world was crashing down on me. (Breastfeeding and elderberry saves us!)
We said yes to family events for the holidays…and we also said no.
Ryan and I have fought and kissed. We’ve thought about baby #4 and then sworn we were never doing this again.
I’ve woken up covered in breastmilk almost every morning…and have only changed our sheets once.
Our girls have had amazing days with their sister…and then days so bad I’ve questioned my ability to raise children.
We’ve felt completely overwhelmed and also completely overjoyed.
So yes, the postpartum season can be full of extremes. Embrace them with the knowledge that life will eventually settle down again. And never be afraid to ask for help - we all need it.
Because each time you have a baby, you become a new mother again. Each time we deserve to be loved on. We deserve to rest. We deserve safe places to cry, to vent, to question…to celebrate this new life we’ve been given.
A huge thanks to Jennifer Mason for these beautiful images of our first days together. I never knew how much I’d treasure them!