My first trimester with our winter baby

Planning for this baby....

I always thought I wanted a big family. Growing up with 3 sisters, I loved the dynamic of having more than just one sibling. And after I gave birth to Eliza, I told Ryan I was ready to have another maybe 30 minutes after giving birth. LOL. But being on-call and doing this job is challenging, especially when you start thinking about adding another baby. My first trimester is notoriously hard...working at all hours while pregnant...breastfeeding once baby is here...there was a lot to consider. 

One of the reasons that I brought on Rebecca Walsh as a partner photographer was because I knew it would allow me to grow my family while still serving my clients. Once we finalized our partnership, Ryan and I began trying for a baby! It took longer than it did with Lucy or Eliza, which made my anxiety spike. But so many wise friends and mentors reminded me that this baby would join us at the perfect time.

Finding out I was pregnant...

Because we were trying for this baby, I was tracking my cycle relentlessly. I knew when I ovulated each month, and I knew when to began testing. In April, I attended two beautiful births that were back to back. During the births I notably felt "off." My heart was racing, I was hot and then cold. I almost felt like I was coming down with the flu. So as soon as I got home from the hospital, I took a test. Negative. And although I'd already had my share of negative pregnancy tests, this one hit me hard. I sat down and cried.

The next day, Ryan and I decided to take the lightrail to downtown Denver. We walked around Union Station and I started to feel nauseous, but in that very characteristic "I need to eat something NOW or I'm going to throw up" way. That's odd, I thought. And so as soon as we got home, I took another test...and sure enough I saw the faintest of faintest lines. I think we got pregnant right around the time we went to see Hamilton...which is pretty awesome in my opinion!

My first trimester...

My joy and excitement lasted for about a week and 2 days before the nausea and exhaustion hit. I LOVE being pregnant but I absolutely LOATHE the first trimester. This time around was especially hard emotionally. I felt a heavy depression fall over me and not really lift until about 3 weeks ago. I would cry. I would get mad. I would even feel like we might have made a mistake. Working full-time as a birth photographer, running Birth Becomes Her, and parenting two young kiddos makes my plate incredibly full. Add on being sick and I just couldn't cope. 

Thankfully, my sweet husband stepped up in big ways. Rebecca helped me with my client load. Lindsey and Jennifer from BBH were so understanding. 

And we go through it. I wouldn't say it was pretty...but we survived. And now that I'm in my second trimester? I'm SO excited. I can't wait to meet this baby. I know he/she is the perfect addition to our little family. 

Are you hoping for a boy? 

Absolutely not! If you know me or my husband, you know we love our houseful of girls. We're hoping for a baby, and will be thrilled to meet either him or her! We don't know if we're going to find out ahead of time. Lucy desperately wants another sister...and she would totally be the child to melt down in tears if we presented her with a baby brother instead. And yes, I've photographed enough births to have seen this happen on more than one occasion. Lol. 

Where are you having your baby? Are you going to have it photographed? 

We are planning to have another out-of-hospital birth. I'll be announcing more about where in the next few weeks! And of course I'm going to have it photographed! I plan on having a full team of women/friends/photographers at my birth. I'll be sharing more details about my birth photography team as we get everything finalized over the next month. Let's just say, I've got it covered!

How long will you go on maternity leave?

I went back to work at 5 weeks with Eliza...and as much as I loved attending those early births, it was too much. I plan on taking at least 4 full months off from being on-call. December through March. We're going to travel after our baby is born, and I hope to have the opportunity to photograph mamas and babies around the country and world while we do (so if you live in California, Florida, or Hawaii...reach out!) Rebecca will stay on-call for our birth clients in Colorado, and then I'll join her again in April. So if you're expecting a baby in early 2019, PLEASE reach out! Rebecca is incredible, and I'm offering a complimentary Fresh 48 or Newborn session if you book us during my maternity leave. 

Who took these incredible photos?

Keziah of BabyRose Photography is one of my dear friends, and I'm SO thrilled to be working with her to document our family's journey. She'll be taking our maternity, newborn and family photos in 2018 and 2019. I'm so lucky to know her.